How to Teach Self-Advocacy in Children

Children learn THE MOST from the natural consequences of things, NOT punishment, NOT threats, NOT even rewards most times. On the other hand, how can we teach our children, without demanding or nudging them in the direction you want? Counsel to children can be provided by allowing them to be self-reliant, inquiring questions, and manageable challenges. Oxford Dictionary defines self-advocacy as the action of representing oneself or one’s views or interests. Self-advocacy is the ability to communicate your needs. Those who self-advocate are more likely to thrive in school, work, and life. Self-advocacy skills can be learned at any age.


Teaching children skills to advocate for themselves is an important aspect of their personal development and empowerment. Here are thirteen strategies and tips to help children learn how to advocate for themselves:


  1. Encourage self-expression. Create an environment where children feel comfortable expressing their thoughts, feelings, and opinions. Encourage them to voice their ideas and concerns without fear of judgment.
  2. Demonstrate how to use active listening. Teach children the importance of active listening. Help them develop good listening skills so that they can understand others' perspectives and respond effectively.
  3. Teach assertiveness. Teach children to assert themselves respectfully and confidently. Help them understand the difference between assertiveness and aggression, and encourage them to stand up for themselves while considering the rights and feelings of others.
  4. Represent problem-solving skills. Teach children problem-solving techniques, such as identifying the issue, brainstorming solutions, and evaluating the pros and cons of each option. Encourage them to think critically and find constructive ways to address their concerns.
  5. Construct favorable communication skills. Help children develop effective communication skills, including clear expression, active listening, and respectful dialogue. Teach them how to articulate their thoughts, feelings, and needs in a confident and assertive manner.
  6. Teach them to understand rights and boundaries. Teach children about their rights, boundaries, and personal autonomy. Help them understand that they have the right to express their opinions, set boundaries, and make decisions that affect them.
  7. Identify emotions and needs. Teach children to identify and understand their emotions and needs. Encourage them to recognize when they feel uncomfortable, dissatisfied, or in need of support, and guide them on how to communicate these emotions and needs to others.

  8. Role-play and practice. Engage in role-playing scenarios where children can practice advocating for themselves. This can help them build confidence and develop effective communication skills.
  9. Encourage self-awareness. Help children develop self-awareness by encouraging them to reflect on their strengths, weaknesses, and personal boundaries. This will enable them to communicate their needs and preferences more effectively.
  10. Model advocacy. Be a role model by advocating for yourself in front of your children. Let them see you assertively express your needs, set boundaries, and stand up for what you believe in. Children often learn best by observing and imitating adults. Most importantly, allow them to learn from the natural consequences of their decisions.
  11. Teach negotiation skills. Teach children how to negotiate and find compromises in different situations. Help them understand that advocating for themselves doesn't mean always getting their way, but rather finding win-win solutions whenever possible.
  12. Develop resilience. Encourage resilience and perseverance in children. Help them understand that setbacks and failures are part of life, but they should never give up on advocating for what they believe is right.
  13. Celebrate successes. Recognize and celebrate instances when children successfully advocate for themselves. Positive reinforcement can motivate them to continue developing their self-advocacy skills.


Remember that teaching children to advocate for themselves is an ongoing process. Be patient, provide guidance and support, and allow them opportunities to practice these skills in various settings.


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